Good morning zig- I'm a little sad today, but it's different from before...I see my m as over (right now) but I am getting hopeful and excited about new experiences.

We spent the morning in bed talking about our childhood (movie inspired) it helped me see just how far back H's life goes into that dark tunnel of misery.

To hear how at 8 yrs old was thrown in a closet, slapped, whipped and his reasoning to this day is "he deserved it" shows me this is the way he copes.

I have the maturity, strength, and cope ability to move forward that H does not have and I need to continue to take charge.

I am actively still looking everyday for thing to keep me busy. Strange how that becomes something you have to make an effort at.

I am doing better keeping in touch with friends, and family, but I still have yet to do anything to put myself out there to meet more people. What makes this a hard goal is not my unwillingness as before, but my lack of imagination ( i guess).

Maybe I still hold myself back...self analyzing here, like I'm on the threshold safely able to see the confort zone, while peeking at the world ahead. I am teetering though...sometimes I'm in the world ahead, peeking at my comfort zone. Improvement???!!!

I hope this is at least, a very baby step, in the right direction of my goals (at least recognizing) that I need to keep moving forward.

I'm outa here, by myself grin to pick up some things and give my parents a call about tom.

Can you imaging if all of us LBS were to get together on our blankets we would never have a shortage of friends, that would be a hellofa picnic! cool

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!