The therapist was a get to know you session and it seems like we focus on what is going wrong, not right. She is solution oriented, she calls it brief therapy, not a delve into why things happened, because your mother did this to you, but to solve the problems and then check in when needed.
She brought up some good points and had us pegged. She said that we are both perfectionists, we want everything to be perfect and get antsy when it isn't. She also labeled us conflict-avoiders, we don't like conflict in our marriage and probably do more damage by not isolating a problem and attacking it head on.
She thinks I probably try to hard to get H in a good mood and that he should be responsible for his own moods.
She related some of Jung's theories that we all have three components to our selves: Parent, Adult, Child and that our interactions have a parent/child component to them instead of interacting as two adults. For example, my taking responsibility for H's mood or happiness is treating him like a child ( I never felt that way, but in retrospect I could see that and so can he) and also when he is telling me all the time how messy my office is and other things like that he is taking on a parent role and I the child. Not sure what means to go about fixing all this, but things she said to be aware of and notice. I see her alone next week.
So I feel funny now, and it is probably the conflict-avoidness thing. Everything had been going perfect the last few days and now I feel like we have just drug out old things and stated all teh things that went wrong. But, I suspect we need to do this if we are going to move on and I need to speak up and stop avoiding things!
