i hope you are feeling better? i agree with bug - the reactions we have are more about what gets triggered in us. and when anger comes up, it masks the real emotions behind it.
i would imagine that you feel hurt and betrayed by your family for not understanding where you are and what you are doing. my brother made it clear many months ago that he thought it was intolerable that i was standing and not filing for d asap. i simply do not talk to him about it any longer. for us it was a silent agreement not to go there when we speak. he knows how i feel and i know how he feels.
i think if you could acknowledge, as bug suggests the real emotions you feel behind the anger, face them and understand them, you won't get so upset the next time comments like that are made.
there is the other side of the coin too. when i think of my brother, i aslo see his fear fro me - his fear that i am getting hurt, his wanting the sitch to end so that i stop hurting. so if you reframed for yourself why your relatives say things like that, and see it instead that it is their fear and protectiveness of YOU that causes them to not be understanding (masked behind anger at your h), then you could feel their love and support for you instead, and you will respond in a much more loving way towards them and be sympathetic of their agony too.
everyone suffers in this vero - and sometimes we are so caught up in our own, that it's hard for us to see.
what's helped me is to go to kindness when i feel angry. i am being as kind and gentle as i can with my brother, and it's really helping us to be more at ease with each other - and that's quite a miracle for the two of us
i hope you feel better soon, dear friend
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
