So regarding financial stuff, I am going to remove her from the credit cards. I stopped at my bank today, the very friendly lady who was assisting me, simply said, W has the same card as me (my name), just take it back. So no forms to fill out. Hope she is right. Also, I can seemingly simply call the other credit company tomorrow and have her removed from that one. All the other accounts, I will simply change passwords; and she can create her own (e.g. Paypal, Amazon). Based on the meeting with the L, she's obligated to fulfill all the other payments (utilities, mortgage, etc). I'm thinking I'll open a separate account on Monday. I'm sick of this. Read on and you'll see why.
This morning, W's grandmother called. To check in on me, if not more so to vent. I was lucky that it was only a 30 minute conversation. Generally, she too goes on and on and on. Fortunately, she said she will be praying for everyone.
So after that, I finally got all of the kids ready, and myself, to go to this outdoor festival like event. Lots of kid rides and games. We all had a truly amazing time. At least I did watching them play together and taking photos.
The bad thing was that the ride was about an hour from our home, so we had lots of talk time. Here's where it gets bad. On the way there my sweet tenderhearted D, tells me that she has had to keep secrets. W has told her not to tell me various things. I told her not to tell me anything unless any of the kids were in danger. So between the ride there and back she went ahead and told me a whole lot of things I didn't want to hear. *W spanks our S2 when / if he's acting out (not horrible, but not in her nature). * W is planning on taking the kids "where she goes" on her weekends next weekend. "We'll get a hotel room." So that means she'll be taking them to once again meet OM and probably his kids. Oh, based on the family calls I received, he "drinks all the time and still uses" (drugs). I know I cannot control W from introducing the kids to any OM, yet L told me since this OM has a criminal record (W told me about it), that I could have a NC Order institued, provided I file. No real chance of all that happening within a weeks time. * W is priming D for a divorce. Telling her she WILL get the house; and that SIL will move in. SIL is p*ssed at W b/c of this sich and her actions and most likely won't move in. We offered SIL to move in a while ago, before all this happened. * D can't tell W her true thoughts / emotions as she will get yelled out for not agreeing with W. I think that's in one of my previous posts. So I encouraged her to use her diary. D said she has. D says, she feels like I'm the single parent taking care of the kids. Mom / W is never home, there with the kids. That SIL is more of a mom than her actual mom. That mom / W has an alcohol problem. That mom / W is dating someone. That we are going to divorce.
All of this is way too much and wrong for an 11 year old to deal with. I vowed to keep her secrets a secret; and that none of what is happening is her fault. That no matter what happens, she will always be my daughter (technically a step daughter); and that I will always love her and be there for her.
S7 overheard some of the conversation, as he was in the backseat. So D and I retold him that there is a chance that mom / W and I may divorce. He's now beginning to understand. He sadly asked if he and our other 2 kids would be separated from one another. Obviously, I reiterated that under no circumstances would the kids be separated from one another. That at least consoled him.
So several times today I had to take the focus away from the W's "it's going to happen" attitude and switch it to, no matter what happens I will always be there for the kids and we will be happy no matter what. Grueling on my soul, but the truth.
Add on the fact that I know W is with OM. In fact, she was with him at his son's first football game this afternoon. How do I know? Simply because she hasn't had the decency to change her FB settings, so emails get send to our home address telling me she's been tagged in a post. WTF? I'm going to tell her she needs to change email accounts or settings, as that is nothing I need or want to know. Space right?
So all in all, this day started off shakey, got a whole lot better, and then had many child related dips. I'm looking for a bright side, yet do not see many, other than the fact that I have 3 wonderful kids.
Can I buy a surfboard to ride these emotional waves?
So a few answers would be appreciated to the following questions: Do I tell her to leave the house? Do I tell her that I met with a L? Do I call her out on all the BS she has and is spreading about me (everyone knows she's lieing, even my D)?
My answers would be Yes, Yes, and Yes. I just don't know if it would help or hurt. Kind of like an "intervention."
I'm so sad and angry right now it's ridiculous.
This is a long rambling vent / advice seeking post, so I apologize and hope it all makes sense. If not, I'll add whatever is needed.
