"I would say I am mildly controlling". What do you consider mildly? In what ways were you controlling? There is a difference in a man controlling...and being the leader in his home.
It's reasons behind her leaving is rather vague, other than she wasn't happy and couldn't "treat you like a wife should treat her husband", which simply means she doesn't feel sexually attracted to you any longer.
She has two very young children, and suddenly she wants to pull out of a secure relationship where she can stay home and not leave her children in a day care.....to see if she can make it on her own? She gets a job as a waitress and now she's ready to buy a house? Man! She must be getting some kind of tips!
Look, you obviously didn't give your W the kind of attention she needed and her feeling starved out. I dare say somebody else is having a hugh influence on that decision.
You want to know how to be an unconditional friend? Forget it. You've already said you're not sure you know how to not act like a doormat, so if you don't have any conditions to being her friend (since she just walked away a broke up your family).....which brings me to the subject of you telling her what a great mother she is! No, you don't get it!
Look, a woman is NOT attracted to that kind of man! She wants a man, not a lap dog to lick her a$$. Let a dog show her he'll always be around for her while she treats him any old way she pleases, but not a self-respecting man. I promise you, she'll invite you to her next wedding, and you'll accept...thinking you are being her BFF.
I stongly suggest you take a completely different approach!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
