I'm sorry, but right now, she is getting what she needs. That's why she's doing it.
Generally, letting go of the WAS gives them the opportunity to get away from the chaos/stress/pain of the sitch and have time to reflect on what they're missing, remember the good parts. In your case, what do you think that would be? What would she be missing? (And your girls don't count as an answer.) What would she want to come back for? (And "because she loves me" isn't a valid answer.)
DB principles include doing 180's -- the opposite of what you did that they didn't like. You've listed one of the primary reasons for her leaving is the chaos imposed by your exW. But that isn't going anywhere. You can't do a 180 on your exW because she will always be there. Heck, the current custody situation isn't even over with.
Are you trying to care for your W or get her to come back? They are two different questions with two different answers. To the first question, caring for your W, I think you need to let her go for now, at least until the custody fight is over and you/she actually know what you're looking at for the future. If you're just wanting to know how to get her to come back, I'm not sure you're caring for her at all. This is where I said that until a LBS understands what drove the WAS away, there won't be any improvement. Caring for her means not wanting to put her in a situation that will most certainly cause her pain.
Before you can ask her to come back or even expect her to consider it, you need to create a safe environment for her to come back to. The middle of a court battle with a crazy exW is NOT it. In the meantime, you need to figure out ways that you can provide that. There needs to be a buffer between you and your ex. Perhaps part of the court order could be communication only through a legal mediator. Or you need to block her calls to your phone. Whatever means you can employ so that your W doesn't bear YOUR burdens when they're not hers to bear.
