Dropping the rope, hope I'm doing the right thing.

[scaredsilly]

Thanks, everyone for your thoughts and comments. I have to admit, I was surprised by his response, too. It's so opposite of the picture he's been giving me of his feelings for the past eight months. Even as recently as 8/21 he was saying he wanted to stay separated.

That is why I shall remain cautious.

Accuray, his reference to feeling like a victim could be many things. He had it in his mind that he was in the middle of me and his D22 (and he was) so that could be it. However, he feels sorry for himself A LOT so it could be many things, from as simple as me not going with him somewhere to me buying a condo he really didn't want.

I will send him the other 34 things on my list. He changed my number one from "most important relationship" in his life to "putting my wife first". He said he misplaced the email with the exact item.

I don't want to be first, per se. I want US to be first. I don't want him to love me more or always let me have my way. I just want a mate who respects the marriage and makes sure the other people in his life understand that he and I are together, in a circle of marriage, and they are outside of that, in their own lives.

The remaining 34 items will help explain to him how that importance can be achieved...I hope.