Dropping the rope, hope I'm doing the right thing.

[scaredsilly]

thanks, busting and hopeful. i'm glad my journey helps others because reading about so many other journeys has helped me.

my H sent me his response to my question. it was really a statement about what i need in a mate (should i have one): one who will put our relationship above all others in his life.

here's his reply:
"Try to answer the question… Putting my wife first, what that would mean to me and what I would change to mean it.

I thought I would start with a quote and end with another.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

I need to put my wife first because she is the love of my life, ahead of all others. My home is my haven, not work. Our children are a blessing, and we love them so much but they have moved on. I will be left with my wife and I look forward to that. I would put you first and work on making our marriage strong. I read this somewhere – A husband who really loves his wife, steps in and says, “ I need to understand your world, what your living with."

I need to understand what it`s like to be home all day, what it`s like to have to deal with me when I am out of town, what it`s like to go through your day so that when I get home at the end of the day, and I step into your world physically, I can also step into it emotionally.

I need your list of the other things you thought about, so that I can think about them, live with them and let them be part of my thoughts.

I recognize that I have the power to redefine the relationship. Even if I feel like a victim, I play a role in setting up what is and isn`t acceptable, what could be wonderful.
I know that we both are closer to the dark. I feel that I need to see if I can be what you need.


I read something the other day- “ The Art of Saying I am Sorry” and there were the 3 steps.

1) Accepting your own Responsibility

2) The act of letting go

3) Then give the person a list of top 5 reason they are important to you

~ You’re a kind and caring soul

~ You are always worried about people being hungry and you root for the underdog

~ You`re laugh, smile, and eyes ( ok 3 in one)

~ You`re a wonderful hardworking person

~ Despite your childhood, you have come so far and will never be denied what you want in life.

I told myself a long time ago to remember these 5 amazing things that make you special to me.

Please look at this over the next week, and if your able to, send me the rest.

To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart - about a finger's breadth - for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule. ~Marnie Reed Crowell

This says a lot to me, some with humor,some with logic."