Unilateral Disarmement - 3

[Wendylon]

Hi Wendylon! Back in 07 you posted this:

"All, however, is not back to normal. H doesn't touch me or use any affectionate language. He will kiss me on the cheek if one of us is going on a trip without the other but that is about it."

I'm curious if that ever returned? Would love to hear more about your progress over the years.

Sadly, we haven't made much progress on that front over the years. There has been some hugging, some hand-holding in bed, and kisses on the lips. When away, there have been a few occasions where things have gone further but always felt a bit awkward and hard work.

To my surprise, H said this morning that I had a great figure. I'm so not used to him saying that sort of thing that I asked him what he meant. He said that he thought I had a great figure when we met (22 years+ ago) when I was 28 but that it was even better now. Anyway, it's nice knowing that's what he thinks but you wouldn't know by his actions...

Sounds like you've read the 5LL, so you may remember from that book that nagging won't get a response from anyone. He already knows you want him to lose weight, so you don't need to constantly remind him. Instead, fill his love tank via whatever his language is and that will give him incentive to fulfill your wishes. I'm just bringing it up again after all this time because you expressed that you're having trouble again, so it may be a good time to re-read 5LL and put those practices into action. And DB/ DR too of course

Thank you very much for the reminders and the encouragement. Actually, I have managed to stop nagging about his weight. I'm tempted to bring up topic of his drinking but I won't as I know it won't move things in a good direction. You are absolutely right about filling up his love tank. You have only joined recently but you sound very wise, AnotherStander. Do you have a thread?