Shes still very reluctantly going and states its for her parents and me and our 2D's , and so she can say that she tried!
She has said though she doesnt want to give me any false hopes , and 'at the moment ' the marriage for her is unworkable
This is why you DON"T want her to go to counseling. It won't help the M at this point, and may even cement her decision to bail. Tell her you no longer want to go to counseling. Stop pushing her to see it your way. She already gave you 3 months!
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Ok , Forever you asked me a question ; her complaints about the m ? Right lets see , 1. No chemistry 2. no passion 3. stagnating not going anywhere ( she likes to plan things like holidays , doing up the house, our wedding ( i loved that time ) )4. says im attrative or handsome but doesnt 'fancy' me or desire me at all . 5. I think she feels like shes been in charge and to be honest she has... I wish id stood up to her a bit more and asserted my opinions more
This is practically identical to my sitch. She finds you physically attractive, but something about your personality traits have turned her all the way off. Time to step up and be the man. Start calling the shots, even if it's just in your own life in the beginning. Stop being so passive and start taking charge of things. This is what she is looking for. A man who knows what he wants, and is willing to go get it. GAL and let her see it.
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Oh hang on the really big one that really gets on her nerves , is I'm needy and 'mardy' and need constant reassurances.
This is easy to fix. Stop all pursuing! It's only making things worse, so just don't do it!
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I dont think she gets anything out of our sex life and now feels repulsed by it . She just thinks now that we are co-habiting and she feels like she and i are missing out on full relationships.
Same here. But this is only the perception right now. Feelings can change. She was in love with you before, right? You had hot sex before, right?
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As i say she has been really honest from the get go...
My wife too. We still have a great connection. I consider this a hopeful sign. Maintain this and build on it. Listen, and listen more. Then act on what you hear.
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Im trying to pull away a bit but continuing to be pleasant and helpfull . Im going to try and get out a bit more with some workmates , my brother and whoever else really to try and get my own life back a bit .
^^^This. Stop pursuing her, and stop telling her you love her... She knows it!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
