[25yearsmlc]

Going to start implementing the LRT. Have no choice really. I am not going to reciprocate her "have a great day", "have a good night, sweet dreams" texts. I think this is just giving her comfort with what she is doing.

this strikes me as being punitive on your end. Like b/c you are hurt, you must hurt back. Any truth to that? It's not exactly showing her a new behavior on your end, is it?

Remember the main thing---for her to return, she must believe that marriage to you can be better/different, than before.

What are YOU DOING to show her that? Oh, not talking b/c she's being nice to you in texts...sorry but that makes NO sense to me.



And regardless of how much of a lowlife I was for the past 2-3 years, we have 8 years of good times and great memories under our belts, and I DESERVE a second chance. I didnt cheat, I didnt abuse, I screwed up big time and got a wake up call. But I think i DESERVED at least one serious conversation before the "midnight move".

Sorry you think she never said a word. I have a hard time believing that OR that it wasn't obvious to you that she was carrying her weight and a whole lot more- and for THREE YEARS...yikes.

So you had NO IDEA that 3 years of doing nothing but being negative and complaining, while she took on a SECOND job, was NOT just fine w/her? Really? She never said a word to you so you thought it must be good...I don't buy that.

And what's with not getting along with ANY member of her family? You imply that it's because they are all racist. I don't buy that either. I think your pride affected your r with them as shown by how you felt shame that she got money from her sister to pay bills. Did you not discuss money at all, even when she took on a second job? What were you thinking?

IMO, you played a role in the lousy relationships with her family and the sooner that you face that, the sooner you can change it.

Don't fall into the trap of justifying yourself again. "No cheating, no abuse" as if that's all it takes to be a good h.

and What's up with putting off having any kids (with HER) b/c of finances, then not doing anything to improve the finances?

Can't you see that to her, it appears that HER becoming a mother is not important to you? Not enough to DO anything about it anyhow...

I don't want to bash you so much, but I do want you to wake up to how she really feels.

You seem to think once you wrote it all down and read it out to her, you were done with having to deal with what happened. Like reading it to her compensates for years of mistreatment. It does not.

Come on. In her family's eyes, you used her. You lost your job and wallowed in self pity and then took it out on her. Then SHE took on a second job to make ends meet and - what did you do then?

Finally, after you realized she had to BORROW money from her family b/c of insufficient funds, you got a second job but didn't tell her about it??? Is that accurate? Why no discussion?

Sorry man, I want your m to be saved. But this "I DESERVE IT" strikes me as off putting.

Any kind of feedback is appreciated....

hope you still feel the feedback is appreciated. Seriously.