Quote: . He said ILY and that he had spent 2003 trying to break us apart and wanted to spend 2004 putting us back toghether.
That's an amazingly powerful statement, but don't mistaken it as Heee's baaaackk!!!! and recommited. What he is saying is ... he going to try to work on it and there are going to be times when if feels daunting and overwelming. How many times do LBS get so frustrated by it all? ... and he is still in the midst of working on himself too, which is appearent by his impatience and lack of tolerance with the kids, etc... and he has a ways to go before he understands it all yet, so when it doesn't go so well, he is going to retreat, withdraw, because he is asking himself, "Why isn't this working even tho I want it to?" Block those thoughts that scream he wants to runaway, because you need to act "as-if" he is working thru this stuff. So you need to remain patient, back off and repect his space to work some of this stuff out on his own ... and when he looks for support be there for him. Its at times like this that you should try to encourage him and be supportive with comments like... "We're gonna learn how to handle this better ... Its gonna get better." ... "We have to be patient and you will see ... it will continue to get better."
Quote: ...the T he sees recommended Divorce Busting and he tells me some of the ideas in there!
Talk about an ironic twist to a sitch! Luv it!!! Yes this could open up a whole new avenue to work on improvements together. For instance, when mentioning "we're gonna learn to handle it better..." like with the pinewood derby, what could have done differently as an 180 so a better time could have been had by all?
If you can nurture H to be comfortable sharing with you ways to find solutions together, you will be building a bond where you both become confident you can make the best of anything and become happier doing it.
... and he is still in the midst of working on himself too, which is appearent by his impatience and lack of tolerance with the kids, etc... and he has a ways to go before he understands it all yet, so when it doesn't go so well, he is going to retreat, withdraw, because he is asking himself, "Why isn't this working even tho I want it to?" 
Block those thoughts that scream he wants to runaway, because you need to act "as-if" he is working thru this stuff. So you need to remain patient, back off and repect his space to work some of this stuff out on his own ... and when he looks for support be there for him. Its at times like this that you should try to encourage him and be supportive with comments like... "We're gonna learn how to handle this better ... Its gonna get better." ... "We have to be patient and you will see ... it will continue to get better."
Luv it!!! Yes this could open up a whole new avenue to work on improvements together. For instance, when mentioning "we're gonna learn to handle it better..." like with the pinewood derby, what could have done differently as an 180 so a better time could have been had by all?
