Slightly hopeful optimist..

[Just A Guy]

Sooooooo last night was bad, W and I had been talking about gettit a Vitamix blender for a detox we both want to do. We would put it on a card as the money from my new job is just starting to come in and then we would pay it off.

As we were discussing it she became very quiet. So is asked her what was wrong. She told me that she wants to make sure we don't set ourselves up for a Nasty divorce by getting a bunch of credit card debt and having to sort it out if we split. Now I'm not one to normally charge things anyways. And we don't have but 5k in total debt period so we are not in bad shape. But then the conversation took a turn.

She started talking about how she keeps going through senarios of how this sitch plays out and in every one she sees us splitting. But that she hasn't been able to picture the senario where we're in a passionate M. My heart dropped into my stomach but I told myself that she is just projecting that based on how our R has been for so long. She prolly barely remembers what it felt like to be passionate with me.

Instead of reacting I told her that I want to be happy and I want her to be truly happy. And whatever happens between us I just want to make sure that we are as open as possible to any outcome.

I am getting the feeling after yesterday that she has one foot out the door already.

Slightly stunned.