Freedomland Ahead

[BeingMe]

BH ... I did give it some thought ... I miss the old H he used to be. Having this one in the house gave me a sense of him, but I was fooling myself. It is best that he's gone ... for both of us. I just get teary eyed because I know, really know, that it's over. There really isn't any hope of a R. Even if he came and asked me, I would have to say no. I gave him all the chances in the world. And, I will never ask him again for a R. The last time I asked, I knew there would be no more asking.

Forward, I haven't gone further with the D. He's away on a 6 week business trip, so no rush to make appointments, since I'm not sure exactly when he'll be back. So, in that case the D is extended.

I had a nightmare dream about him last night. I got to see the "real" him, and it was frightening. Of course, it was only a dream, but I woke up feeling down and depressed.

I should go for counseling ... I think they're free at the university.