Having just a crappy day. Went to d17 school with the W and I must admit I'm a little tired from work. Then to go to the school sit go through the periods were pretty tiring.

Then I noticed W wasn't wearing her wedding ring so that added to my bad mood. I tried so hard not to mention it because I wasn't gonna let it bother me but it did and I did ask her. And her response is that she will wear it when she wants to.

I don't know the whole time i was with them I felt out of place and also I just don't feel like me. I felt really insecure and not confident. I guess I'm not detaching well enough or not detaching at all for that matter.

Then I realized that as I am almost feel like walking on egg shells and maybe I'm just trying to be too nice?? I feel like just letting go and just let what happen happens. I guess that's what detaching is? Im to the point that I'll do whatever I want to do and not worry about her.

I think right now I'm putting a lot of stress with myself to please my W? Is this normal for LBS?

I don't know I just feel beat up with this sitch. At one point maybe she's better off with the OM, I just felt inadequate for her. And maybe ill be happier with someone else. Maybe because I'm doing/worrying about what I can do on 180?

Today is definitely one of those days that I felt like giving up. Talk to me guys, I could use your thoughts.

Newman

me40; W43
M18; T~20
D18; S13 & S3
bomb 5/9/11
EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM

Separated 4/1/14

"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.