SS, thanks for your recent posts. It gives me a much better insight to your sitch. I knew you had a blended family but was curious how that played out in your WAS sitch. I think I'm reading that your H always put his kids first and you were low-man out. I think this is where your first priority comes from, am I right?
I have a blended family sitch, too, with H/4, me/0. It was always me last. Thing is, as difficult as it always was for me, I think I get it from my H's POV. I'm not sure I could marry again and promise to put my H first, because now I have S. I think perhaps it's easier to prioritize the M over the kids when the kids are both of yours. But when one parent is a "step," the parent/child loyalty just runs too deep. Do you feel that way at all?
It's wonderful that you've gotten to the point where you can make happy plans for the future, with or w/o H. But do you see your #1 priority being a possibility? For that matter, do you see yourself being able to fulfill that requirement yourself and treat your future spouse as your number one? Over your own S? I don't know that I could, which is factor in my belief that I'll never M again. Best case, if I am single again someday, I might find someone to share things with, but with the understanding that they will never be my priority and I don't expect to be theirs. Not currently making any plans, just thoughts I've had.
Do you retain any positive relationship with your steps? You were with them a long time, and they were fairly young when you entered their lives. I know that's no guarantee of being connected, but it can add to the angst (or relief) of D.
