A New Phase?

[Nblost]

I do feel done. I guess I have detached to the point where if H ever came back and was truly ready to try to reconcile...I would consider it...but, until that happens, I'm fine getting divorced. I think it might be easier for me than other women because I'm financially stable without H and can continue to lead almost the same lifestyle as before. H has also been almost completely gone from my life for a year given his work travel and affair. I think Dr. Phil is the one who said something like, "why are you waiting for someone else to make you happy?"...it was time for me to take my life back and move on.

The kids did fine meeting OW and her kids--but they met them under the pretense that these were friends visiting from out of town. Last night, my middle daughter actually wrote an essay about going to Disneyland with them for school (fabulous!). My kids are now texting her kids as buddies. I hate the lies and I think there's a risk my kids will feel betrayed by him later...but I guess I'm trying to let it go.

I don't think it's right to date while married either. That said, I really don't feel married anymore. I guess my pastor was the one who put my finger on it...my H broke apart our marriage when he started his affair.

I think I just ended up finding a guy who fits into my life right now. I'm not in the mood for crazy one night stands and I'm not in the mood for a serious relationship (I've had enough relationship issues for awhile). For me, it's been validating and fun. I'm also being careful that this guy is just a minor part of my life--I'm continuing to build friendships and interests to support being single. For example, I'm likely going on 3 girls trips in the next six months.

Keep_going, I really feel for you given your situation and your young kids. You are in much harder place than me. I saw you are in SoCal...I wish we could meet!