My story, my progress, my hope

[Tinman]

Well it has been a very difficult few days.
My W was called by the custody evaluator and asked to come in to discuss my crazy x and the issues surrounding the custody of my 2 D. She told me she was going in on Thursday but did not want me to go with her. She was pretty stressed about it but said she was glad that they finally called her as she had a lot to share.

On Wednesday night I received a call from my oldest daughter. She was crying hysterically and telling me about an incident with her mother. She said that her mother had grabbed her by the hair and was practically lifting her off the ground and then jerked her head back and somehow hit her nose on her knee. She wanted to come home but there is not much I can do. She did not want me to call the police and I asked her if she would talk to the school social worker. I told her I would call and see and then call her back.

I really did not know what to do so I called CPS and informed them of what was going on. CPS has been involved before and has substantiated abuse against their mother in the past. After that call I called my D back and told her that I the school counselor had already gone home (it was 7:30 pm so I already knew she would not be available) So when I called my daughter was crying again and said that the police had just been at the house and spoke to them. I was confused as I did not think CPS would call the police. My daughter was telling me that the police told her that there mother has the right to hurt them but that they do not have the right to hurt their mother. I was shocked and then realized what had happened. Their mother had called the police and told them that my D had attacked her. So now my D is hiding in her room scared because the police officer told her that if he had to come back her would have to take her and put her in jail with other mean people. I was horrified.

I called CPS back and updated them on the situation.

I also sent an email to my attorney and the custody evaluator to inform them of what happened.

As my W was going in to discuss issues with the custody evaluator the following day I felt I needed to let her know what was going on. I called but she did not answer. So I sent her an email and later she called. It was a decent conversation and all about my girls. I expressed how grateful I was that she was going in on behalf of us and she said she was glad to do it.

So yesterday she went in and spoke to the custody evaluator and called me after and told me all about it. Again a decent conversation and all about the custody case.

Then last night my girls were home and ran down to say hello. When they came back I text her and said thanks for chatting with the girls and that they were really happy to see her. She text back and said she was done. She could not continue to be in our lives because it was just too stressful for her and she knew that no matter what happens with the custody case the girl’s mother would always be in the picture and she would always be left to pick up the pieces and she simply could not do it anymore. I was sick and could not believe what she was saying.

So that is where it stands. She wants both me and my girls to disappear from her life. My D could see how upset I was last night and said to me “Is ______ leaving us? She is the mom I have always wanted and now she is leaving us?” Broke my heart.

I text her that I could not tell my daughters that and that I will let her go but I will still hope she realizes what a mistake she has made.

So I left the door open and will simply stop any and all communication. Going forward I have to get through the custody case in November, be the father my girls need and keep working on me.

I just don’t get how a month ago she was able to tell me how much she loves me and wants to work things out and then cast us aside like nothing. Not really sure how to get past this and even if some miracle does happen how I can trust that as the first sign of rough waters she is not going to do it to us again.