Originally Posted By: nailinthecoffin
I made her a vow to work on my sh*t and prove to her that I could and would change for the better.


Don't say it, show her instead. DB rule 29:

29. Know that if you can do 180, your smallest CONSISTENT actions will be noticed much more than any words you can say or write.

Originally Posted By: nailinthecoffin
I went up to the bedroom and told her that it hurt me that she lied to me earlier. She BLEW UP!


You backslid. You need to follow DB practices and detach. Here are a few more DB tips:

1. Do not pursue, reason, chase, beg, plead or implore.
4. Do not follow her around the house.
10. Do not spy on spouse.
12. Act as if you are moving on with your life.
13. Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive.
15. When home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation) be scarce or short on words.
17. You need to make your partner think that you have had an awakening and, as far as you are concerned, you are going to move on with your life, with or without your spouse.
19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. Show her someone she would want to be around.
26. Learn to back off, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out.
30. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more than ever and are desperate and needy.
31. Do not focus on yourself when communicating with your spouse.

We all backslide now and then, so don't worry about it. Just try not to repeat it.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57