Cadet, why did you say DO NOT MOVE OUT? The way my w puts it, I have no other option.
Of course you do, you stay and make her move out. The LBS should never move out. If the WAS wants a separation, then they need to make it happen themselves. They need to move out, they need to set up a new house, they need to make all those arrangements, they need to suffer the consequences of their decision. You want to save the M, so why would you move out? This should all be on her.
Originally Posted By: nailinthecoffin
If I don't, the tension between us keeps getting higher, she gets super stressed out and angry, this effects the kids and me.
Put DB into practice and the tension will be diffused. If she tried to argue then empathize with her emotions, tell her you understand and you're sorry she feels that way. You're acknowledging her feelings without agreeing with her. It will diffuse the situation. Act "as if" everything is fine even when it isn't. Do not talk about the R, S, D or anything else relationship-wise. Keep it light and fluffy. Work on yourself- get in shape, focus on the kids, laugh, play.
Originally Posted By: nailinthecoffin
She says the only chance I have at getting her back is to respect and honor her wishes for a separation. The longer I hold off, the worse things seem to get between us.
You're not holding off, she is. If she wants S then show her where the door is.
View the S as a chance for her to collect her thoughts. Give her plenty of space. Use the time to improve your appearance and attitude. When you're around her show her a strong, confident, good-looking you. Be detached but available. Read DB, DR and 5LL and change yourself. She'll notice although she won't acknowledge initially. Give it time. Patience is key. Good luck!
