My Story WAW due to Gaming Addiction

[twisted9999]

So these last few days have been an emotional mess. After I got off the phone thuesday with my therapist and she had told me what my wife said I had to pick up the kids because it was my day to have them. I was not sure what the plan was because I we really didnt discuss if I was picking them up or she was dropping them off. I tried to call and got no answer. So I sent her a text asking what her about the plan for the kids. She finally texted me back and said her mom would be bringing them to my parents. My brother is in town from the navy so I was visiting him before he left and he was staying there.

I then sent another text saying "My therapist called and let me know she had talked to you and what you said. I am sorry I offered it I honestly did not know it would upset you". She ofcourse did not respond which I knew that was going to be the case I just wanted to appologize and leave it at that.

She was going to get a haircut and dyed so that was why she didnt drop them off. I get a call around 7:20 saying she was running late and may not make it for 8pm because the person doing her hair screwed up and was trying to fix it. I was ok with this because it meant i had more time with the kids. She called again at 8 and said she was on her way and to give her 10 min before I left because she had not made it home. When I pulled up she was pulling up too. She got out the car and ran to the front door which I thaught was weird. She said she would be right out. Her mom pulled up right behind her and said she had to use the bathroom. I unloaded the kids and gave them hugs and kisses. Told her mom that my son was acting sick. The whole process lasted like 7 min and my wife never showed her face. I just got a weird feeling about the whole situation because the way she acted when I pulled up. Maybe she did have to use the bathroom but honestly I think that she was avoiding me for some reason. Maybe she thought I would bring up the topic from earlier but she knows I would never say anything around the kids.

Yesterday was bad. I was a mess yesterday. Coworker came up to me and told me she was worried about me. Said a friend of hers relative just took their life due to a similar situtation i was going through. I would never do something like that but i just broke down. The drive home from work was yet another mental and emotional breakdown as was my drive to work this morning.

When does the pain stop? 2 months have gone by and I am still a mess. I take it day by day and when I have the kids everything seems OK but when the kids go home its when it really hits home and I struggle to hold back the tears.

I am so confused because the person I married 9 years ago is not the person that I am seeing now. She is amesome mother and a wonderful wife and person. During the last couple of weeks though she has become distant and all out mean to me. When we talk she wont even look me in the eyes. She somewhat keeps me informed about the kids but there is alot that i have to find out about from my oldest daughter like wife taking her to to the dentist about her tooth or her missing gymnastics because she had a meeting(she could have called me and asked if i could bring her).

I know they say believe none of what she says and half of what she does. So the fact that she said she has forgiven me and is no longer mad at me is not true because someone who has forgiven someone would not get angry at me because our lawsuit lawyer who also does divorces gave her a 15 min speech about how she is being selfish and setting our kids up for failure and that we need to do everything we can to fix this. I stuck up for her and said she had a right to leave me. Basically anytime someone tells her something she does not want to hear she takes it out on me. I need to learn how to detach because this is sucking the life out of me.

As time goes on it went from this is not over to as of Tuesday meeting with out lawyers she basically said she was going through with the divorce no matter what the consequences are. I know I have done everything in my power to drive her away. I also know I have 11 months to win her back.

I have once again gone to a no contact policy except about the kids. I also am going to stop trying to cater too her. Like asking if she needs the grass cut, needs any money, or if there is anything around the house that needs to be done. She asked about me taking the kids Sat while she takes my oldest to a birthday party. I had plans that day and told her I could not watch them during the time she needed so she will get her mom to watch them. I have been rearranging my life to make her confortable like going to a different mass because she felt weird going to the same mass as me or changing plans I have to acommidate her plans. I am not doing this because I want to piss her off but me doing all this stuff to help her out is not making a difference so I am going to try something different.