Are you going to show the note to H? I probably would if it was me...I'd want to see his reaction and also show him what she said. I'd be nice about it and simply show it to him...but maybe that's too hard to do and if you are making progress with him maybe it isn't worth any risk. I just think putting it out in the open might help.
Hang in there...you are creating your own path and one where you won't have any regrets over not trying!
Thanks for stopping by Nblost!
I have been told not to show the message to my H. I will say I'd be interested to see how he reacts too. I think it could go both ways: he's mad that she contacted me, or he gets mad at me for bringing her up in conversation yet again.
Thanks zig and ces for checking in me. I'm slowly coming out of my funk of the past couple of days.
I think I need to make a new positives list. Feeling like I'm coming around the final curve to the end, so maybe I need to focus on what's going right as far as DBing is concerned.
1. I'm facing more of my own issues. Its hard but necessary. 2. I'm still working out and losing weight! 3. My H has not moved out yet. (Lately its felt like more of a positive than in the beginning) 4. H is helping out more around the house. (His guilt is probably playing a big part in all this.)
That's about all I can come up with right now. LOL
So the H of the couple we always have the celebration dinners with (birthdays, V-Day, holidays, etc) invited us to a b-day celebration for his wife on the 22nd. We went to the H's b-day celebration last month. I've been leaving it up to H whether we go or not. My thought process was if he says no, then I can always go by myself.
So I asked H about it yesterday and there was a beat of silence on the phone. I told him he didn't have to go if he didn't want to. I just needed to let them know who would be coming. He mentioned that his friends were trying to get together to discuss some music stuff that weekend, but he won't have any money then (he won't start getting his unemployment until the week after that). Plus he wants to see who is really going to commit to showing up.
I said so do you want to go? He says yeah we can go. I told him at least its at one of our favorite restaurants. He said yeah, but besides that, they are good people. (This caught me off guard because it is something normal H would say, not the stranger living in my house. He hasn't really interacted with very many of our friends in the last year. I think he thinks they can see the adultery on him or something. SMH)
I figured he'd say no since we had just hung out with them a month ago. We've seen them more since BD than all of last year. I like hanging with them, but I leave our outings sad that H and I are going through what we are. I know they've had their own blended family issues, but they have both been divorced and are Christian and are determined to make the M work. I haven't told my girlfriend anything about my situation, although I know she went through something similiar in her first marriage.
On another note, H was playing slow/love songs last night. He's done this before when he and OW have been on the outs (he didn't know that I knew that was why). A girlfriend suggested I start playing some Pink or some other I-am-woman-hear-me-roar song, so I played Blow Me (A Kiss). Suddenly the music stopped, and the TV was on. LOL It was really funny to me.
