Hey Lost!
I am going through the same thing exactly. I know that anytime I bring up the divorce, reconciliation, happy memories, or anything about us it usually backfires. I have found that talking about superficial things right now is about all we can talk about. That is what Michelle says to do in “The Last Resort” I have had some baby steps with this technique. She said to me just the other day I really miss talking to you like this. I was so excited. Then I screwed things up again and got impatient and talked about why we should get back together. I am just like you my impatience is destroying us. I have to step back for now and let her have total control. If she says something that makes me feel like we are on track I just need to smile and take it for what it is, nothing more. When she is ready to give me more she will do it. I HAVE TO STOP PUSHING HER AWAY!
Think of the positive: She is still living in the same house with you. My wife moved out. Take advantage of this. Show her that you can do the laundry, or something that she usually does around the house. You do it instead, and try not to let her know that you are doing it. Make it a surprise. Don't mention it later if she says something about it say oh yeah, I just wanted to do it. In the "putting it all together section one of the stories talked about making a cup of coffee for the spouse every day and it was met with a cold shoulder at first, but it turned out to be a good thing. MORE ABOUT THE POSITIVE: She is talking to you at dinner. Keep the conversation light. Stay away from things that make you look clingy, or needy (completely unattractive traits) Use the Think "As If" you did not have this divorce looming and carry on "as if" she wanted to make this work. This will help you exude more self confidence and be much more upbeat about things. I know it is hard, but keep trying YOU CAN DO IT!
