What a freaking roller coaster. My coach advised me to ask if I would be able to get in house, key etc and let him know when I was coming back. I tried. It got awkward. I asked if he was thinking about a hotel. He said no.

I said so...I am asking your thoughts and planning for my return. He said he didn't know. So I said 'So we will just figure it out when I get back?' he said yes. I said ok, and left it at that.

When does the roller coaster of his hot Dane cold (which should not but ends up controlling my emotions) stop? How am I supposed to know what I am going back to?

We spoke last night for a bit and he opened up. We hung up, and not two minutes later he called to tell me about a coyote in the front yard. E were watching the same show and I had sent him a text saying how I missed riding motorcycles in fall weather. He said 'I know, maybe next fall :-( ' (we can't afford one now due to his financial issues.)

I want to take that and run with it, but then his tone about me coming home changes and I get down again. I am going out with friends tonight to take my mind off of things, but I cant help but feel crappy about today after we had such a great talk yesterday, he called me on his own (one of my small goals) and then I get distance today.

I vowed to before positive, so...I am going to stop whining and attribute this to him being on the road a long time today (since 9AM and is still not home) and being tired.


Me- 29 H - 36
T - 5y M - 2y
D - 11 months
BD#1 June 2013
BD#2 H files 10/28/13
Retrouvaille Nov 13
BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14
Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set
Supposedly he's moving out?