Turtles, Lists and Toilet Brushes

[zig]

thanks so much keep going - i am going to put that up on my wall.

and what i am so delighted with is that after my last post i went out to run errands, and as i was driving the answers came to me - and they were just along the same lines.

My lesson here is:

How to stay open-hearted and kind, even when things happen which don't feel good to me

How to NOT shut down when I want to very badly, because I hurt.

And the answer that came to me - actually several insights -was that I don't need h's approval, I don't need to be heard to be visible, I don't need to be right in this and most of all I DON"T NEED TO TALK.

Suddenly after all this time - I have finally reached the place where I don't need to be visible for h or have it proven to me in any way that I am. I also don't need to be visible to anyone else - I can see zig, I can feel zig and that's all I need.

I had decided when I got home that i would text him and say that yes, let's talk, but not right away.

Before i could do that - a text from him. "I would like to talk sometime about yesterday when/if you want"

I replied back:"Yes I think that will be nice. I need some time though. I will let you know when I am ready. I have a lot to think about and process through right now. Thanks, z"

and there's still more processing to be done, and i feel so ok - i just trust that it will get clearer and i also trust that there will be many many more occasions to learn about myself - for the rest of my life.

now KD's words are always in my mind - You cannot un-know something...

zig