The session was very disappointing. I am so heartbroken. The counselor started the session off by asking what attracted us to one another. I was thinking, ok, good start. Then she asked what each of us want to see happen in the relationship. I told her what I wanted, which was all postive. Then my husband said, it all sounds good, but he thinks it's too late for us.
Then she proceeded to ask why we were in her office: you know why each of us thought the marriage had a breakdown. We both told our side of the story. Again my husband expressed negativity about our future. After we both talked about our individual hurts and pains, she asked my husband to leave the room.
She told me she didn't hear any mixed feelings in my H responses. She didn't think he wanted to work on our marriage. The only thing she could suggest was to learn from the R and not make the same mistakes in the future("for your next wonderful R")
She then spoke to my husband in private.
Then yet again she spoke to me in private. My H had expressed to her that he doesn't want to work on M, but he wants to remain friends( because I'm his best friend) Even though she sees a lot of love and caring between the two of us " he's adamant that he only loves you as a friend" the best thing for me to do at this time is to accept that fact.
Can you imagine my shock? This was our VERY FIRST session with her. She gave up so easily! Who knows what she said to my husband in private.
When I walked out to leave(after I paid her $130!) my husband was crying outside. We walked outside and he said" I don't see why we can't be friends?"
I really don't see how we can be friends; it would be too painful.
I really feel let down by this counselor. I know counselors are not miracle workers and I don't expect for anyone to "change" my H mind. But we have been only separated three weeks. I know he can't be 100% sure of his feelings.
I don't know what to do. I'm not going to rely on anymore counselors to help me.
I think I'm just not going to talk to my spouse. I suggested that we(and meant it) dissolve any and all joint accounts. I don't think I can bear having to deal w/ him about business for another year(s) If I'm going to be separated, I want a CLEAN break. I can't live my life in limbo.......If he wants to throw away our M, ......Maybe it will be too late when he realizes it.
Do you think I should just cut all ties?
Oh yeah, the counselor even suggested we wait a year before we even try to be friends.
