I had dinner with W today even after what happened. She wanted to talk. I said ok so we had dinner. After I found out her meeting with the OM yesterday I told her family this morning.
Her sister talked with her and seemed to knock some sense out of her that D or not the EA has to stop. It seemed that her sister put her down to reality from her fantasyland. W said ok and promise will cut all contact with this OM while she work on us. She emailed him and cc me on it saying its done.
I'm giving her space and right now we decided to sleep in different rooms. I told her to get out of MB and after that I felt bad and told her we will switch off. I don't know how long we will make this sleeping arrangements. We will see family therapist. We are seeing IC now. W diagnosed with severe depression. I originally kick her out of the house out of my anger in light of yesterday's EA but now looks like we will live in same roof.
what is your goal? Is it to punish your wife, or to save your marriage? Have you read the Divorce Busting book or the Divorce Remedy books?
Please read them asap...
Any thoughts on my sitch so far? How do I continue to GAL now that she seem she would work on us? I'll keep my 180s which is to daily spent time at least 30 mins each of my kids after work. I'm also exercising a lot. She told her sister that she sees the changes in me but fear of I'm only using these as tactics.
I feel really good about myself, not the needy, depressed person few months ago. Even my therapist validated that I'm doing the right thing. So props to this site and DR book.
Btw, I gave my wife to read 5LL, is this Ok? I didn't see anything there to see as tactics but I think the book will understand her feelings better.
the books are usually for YOU to change YOU...
and you say you just realized what her love languages are, after 18 years of marriage.
What is it you are working on as a husband, so she'll see you as the better choice?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
