Thank you for your reply. Yes, I do have Michele's book and it helped a great deal the first time round - in fact it is the only reason there was a second time round!!
I have read and re read and read again the chapter on infedility and while I understand it and can see it is the only way forward I cannot do it. I'm not even really sure why. I think perhaps you do need to feel that you have all of the facts before you can forgive and I just don't believe his version of what happened so maybe this is why I can't forgive him. He's also not dealt with any of the "aftermath" in a way that makes me feel secure so this adds to the things I need to forgive him for.
You're right, I think I've more or less pushed him out the door at this point. It is sad that that is the case but I do feel I've tried much harder than he ever did to heal it all when, in my opinion, he should have been the one healing it as he caused the whole mess. I hate how bitter he has made me, I just can't imagine feeling "in love" with him ever again at this point. How do you love someone who hurts you and makes you so angry all the time?? I know you will probably say by forgiving!!! I don't know how to do it, and even though I am going to lose everything I have I still can't do it, I don't think he is worthy of it.
If you where to consider it, is allowing the WAS to go "back and forth" OK? Don't you think that the relationship should be in a state of repair and if this is the case, wouldn't you both get tested for VD before starting back up the sexual portion of the relationship?
