Thank you for such a thoughtful and helpful reply.
I already do much of this though, I positively throw myself into taking care of the house and children and ensuring we do lovely things together, I have a hobby that I love and I am about to start a college course which will gain me some new friends I hope.
I think maybe I need to face the fact that it is in fact over as he has never been prepared to put in the time and effort to heal the hurts that he caused and I'm at the point where I don't see why I should bother to do so on my own any more.
