About to separate....

[dorightman]

Everyday my sitch escalates. Yesterday I was "good" all day. Took care of myself, stayed out of her way. Did yoga, read Buddhist books, stayed calm. She had very negative energy when she was home, I remained calm and treated her with care, but it didn't change her. After the kids where put to bed, I made her a vow to work on my sh*t and prove to her that I could and would change for the better. She said she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. I left her and went downstairs to read. An hour later, I noticed she was up, her light was on in our bedroom. I felt like she lied to me to get rid of me earlier when she said she was tired and wanted to sleep. I went up to the bedroom and told her that it hurt me that she lied to me earlier. She BLEW UP! Yelling at me and swearing at me, telling me that I can't leave her alone for 24 hours ever. Yesterday would have been the first day that I was able to leave her alone, except that I messed up by going up there to tell her that I felt hurt. She wants a separation, me out of the house. She has a mediator ready to go, she would be happy to divide our assets asap and divorce asap. I feel defeated and I don't know what to do. I can't afford to move out, we are in rough shape financially. But, it seems like I can't afford not to move out because the longer I live at home, the worse our relationship gets. I feel lost right now.