Have started a new thread in MLC. I was in the newcomers forum for these last two months. My previous threads Alien Invasion and Alien Invastion Pt 2.
Keeping sane..just..only because I now have some idea of what to expect from an MLC'er. R is steady because I step back and don't get involved in H's tantrums. If I don't think its going to be helpful to my sitch I keep my mouth shut - taped very firmly. Much to the dismay of my D19 and S18, who often tell me to stand up for myself more. I don't see it like that. I just see it as picking my battles now and standing firm in my own space. I have a shield up to any one or thing that wants to use me as a punching bag these days. Including my son and daughter. However, I am grateful to them for understanding the situation and keeping their mouths shut in front of H too. Its hard for teenagers to do that and I am proud of them. Its taught them about self control as well.
Guess when he bought all his new skinny clothes, he picked up several pairs of cranky pants too
Hang in there. Remember who he is really mad at, himself. You are just an easy target. But you aren't taking the bait - good for you! Don't react to his nonsense and drama! He'll do anything to keep the focus off of himself and his mental and emotional mess. We know better than to be part of the distraction.
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
Lmao at your thread title!!! I was just about to ask you if you had started a new thread. I think I'll join you girls over here when I start my next one!
Was your H somewhat moody or grumpy before MLC?
I'm so proud of you being so strong. And being a great example to the kids. (and to me too . )
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
TVS haha...yep 7 pairs of size skinny cranky pants, one for each day of the week.
RH..H has never been what you call a placid person, but his bad moods were always tempered with a wonderful cheeky sense of humour. Kindof the guy you love to hate. We don't even get to see that much any more. But its in there somewhere I know it is.
Guess when he bought all his new skinny clothes, he picked up several pairs of cranky pants too
Hang in there. Remember who he is really mad at, himself. You are just an easy target. But you aren't taking the bait - good for you! Don't react to his nonsense and drama! He'll do anything to keep the focus off of himself and his mental and emotional mess. We know better than to be part of the distraction.
Isn't the "spew" something else? Before divorcebusting.com, most of us tried to logically understand it and it will make you CRAZY.
Glad we can all accept it's spew and it should never affect your emotions or feelings about yourself.
DLS... most definitely DB is a godsend. Do they ever look back and have regrets about their behaviour? Time will tell on that because I don't expect this will change any time soon. Just lighting the way home and taking it day by day.
DLS... most definitely DB is a godsend. Do they ever look back and have regrets about their behaviour? Time will tell on that because I don't expect this will change any time soon. Just lighting the way home and taking it day by day.
GALbaby,
I believe some of the behavior is "automatic" and not intended. It's the human mind. Although, I'm sure some of them ARE getting off on doing it on purpose, I think many of them got caught up in a tough situation and the mind has a certain way of trying to justify it - hence SPEW.
Glad you are keeping up your PMA Gal. I know it is hard.
I think they have moments of regret now, not that they would admit it.
I'm hopeful because H admitted how poorly he treated S4, and that he really regrets it, and is trying to make up for it. Not a peep about he has treated me. But, if he is capable of any realization, I take it as a good sign.
I remember reading somewhere here when I first found the site the advice to try to be a good friend to the MLCer throughout the crisis if you can, because once they come out, they are going to need one more than we know.
Keep being that lighthouse Gal
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
TVS, they don't really remember much of what goes on during this time. I can attest to that in my own situation. They want to run, but don't always know why. That's enough to make anyone crazy, but can you imagine not being able to get away from it?
GALBaby, do your best to be the friend and the light. The trip is a long one and while some never finish it, those that do desparately need a friend that has history with them.
You were at the beginning of the trip, and you'll be the last one there if you keep your mind straight. Their swiss cheese minds.. meh. No guarantees, but everyone could use a true friend, right?
Hang in there.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
