So I am back from seeing my friend. I still feel positive and I have no intention of getting in touch with H (I'm off the emotional roller coaster) but I keep checking my phone/emails.
If I was really detached I wouldn't be doing that would I?
I'm scared I will truly detach and my marriage will end. But what other choice is there?
I wonder what he's doing/thinking. I know last time I stopped txtng he got in touch after 5 days but that time I hadn't told him I was letting him go. I didn't want to let him go but I had to as I couldn't stay on the roller coaster, put my Self in a vulnerable position anymore.
I don't get why he said he wanted to try and make us right, listed changes that he and we could make to improve our R and then come back from his trip and not contact me. It doesn't make any sense.
I feel like I have taken my Self to a limbo all of my own making.
I feel alone. I miss H. I didn't want our R to be like this. I'm crying now.
Tumbling
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
