My Story WAW due to Gaming Addiction

[twisted9999]

I have been backing off from her trust me I have little to no contact with her and it is usually about the kids. Yesterday was at the advise of my addiction/marriage counselor. She recommended it when i asked her about it. Retrouvaille is not just about healing a marriage it is also about communicating with your wife which is very important when you have 3 kids. The communcation between us even with the kids is pretty much nonexistant. The only opportunity to do this retreat was now or wait a year and then it would be around the time for the divorce to be finalized. The person over the phone that I talked to recommended I do it asap or they would fill up.

When I proposed the idea to her I said yes the main goal is to heal a marriage but more importantly it is about learning to communicate and that my therapist, who agrees that counselling is not really a good idea right now, said we would both benefit from it.

[unbidden]

I think that Retrouvaille is a great idea for your sitch. We are scheduled to go mid-October. What about calling the lady back and asking her to hold a space for a few days? That way you can have a few more days to decide.

[AnotherStander]

I was trying to make this same decision about getting my now separated W to go to Retrouvaille with me. I spend a couple of days reading as many posts as I could about it and my conclusion is that it works wonders when BOTH spouses are willing to consider reconciling, but it is largely unsuccessful when one spouse is already walking. Based on your description here I'd say your W is not ready for Retrouvaille, and it sounds like she's not interested in it either. I'd let it go and not mention it to her again unless she brings it up. Personally I decided it was too much pressure to put on my W right now since we just S, so I decided not to bring it up.

[MrBond]

I understand all that about Retrouvaille, but she may not be ready for it. In fact, if you continue to push, it's the fastest way for her to say no.

Calling and leaving messages will just irritate her more.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

9,

Retrouvaille is not just about healing a marriage it is also about communicating with your wife which is very important when you have 3 kids

It's like you're trying to sell me on Retrouvaille.
Like maybe I don't understand what it is or why your pushing for it.

And I get it. I'm pretty sure I get it on a level you don't or don't want to admitt to yet, either.

If you could just make her see...

Please listen to Bond.

The pressure you push, will make her squirm away.

Retrouville isn't you're only chance here, the guy on the phone is also trying to close a deal.

Is it a good program? Yep, but it works better when both parties want to be there or are at least open to the idea...for real.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

What about calling the lady back and asking her to hold a space for a few days? That way you can have a few more days to decide.

Brilliant.

If they say no? DON'T purchase it without your wife being willing to go.

[twisted9999]

It was not meant to be. They have a 8 person waiting list and at most 2 people drop out. I will let her know it is too late for next week and if she still wants to go there is one available in Mar. if she is willing to go or if she is willing to drive to Texas there is one in October.

[twisted9999]

Well she called my therapist and said she would not even consider it. So it was too soon. Also, I am about 50% she is having an EA with a person we know from our church. But I am not totally sure but it kinda hurts seeing as it took her less than 2 months to move on. Just kinda feel played but the person I trusted most. But I will continue to put on a smile and go on with life because I know how rebound relationships work.

[MrBond]

" Also, I am about 50% she is having an EA with a person we know from our church."

Get this thought out of your head for now. She didn't want to go because it was too soon and you pushed for it just like we knew it would. It's okay, you can bounce from this.

[unbidden]

Yes, you're really not in much different place than you were yesterday. Onward and upward.