I'm so sorry to read about your situation and we all know how desperate you feel when a spouse says ILYBINILWY.
I suffer from low self-esteem too sometimes but look at the positive side of the sitch for now. You're not at the separation with little contact part yet, so don't focus on it, she is still in the house so you have time to demonstrate not only to her but to your Self that you are a great guy and that anyone would be a fool to leave you. Working on your Self will mean that if what she is suggesting happens down the line you will be better able to cope with it.
And don't worry about being away on business sometimes and that if the separation happens it won't be any different to her. It will be. I am currently dark with my husband and I'm sure he notices even in his subconscious that I am not there.
Let's not think about 2013, let's think about Sept 2012 and what you are going to do to get your Self in a better headstate that will sort you out (and hopefully your marriage). I look at my situation and think I am grateful to be here so that I get to consciously work on making me a better person.
So are you going to go back to counselling - you said it helped?
What are you going to do for you this month?
What are you going to do socially not involving W this month?
What worked when you were out of the house for 3 months - did she see something different in you that enabled you two to live together again, can you do some of that?
You mentioned on my thread that it hurts to text and not get a response. I totally get that. My solution to that is not text. What we (you and I) are looking for when we text, especially when our heart is breaking, is confirmation that we are still "connected" w our spouse. So when they don't reply we feel disconnected/abandoned/rejected. The only connection guaranteed not to trigger that bad feeling of non response is when we are face2face or on the phone. Maybe if you don't text when you are away from home (this is a 180 for you), she will notice and ask you why you don't do it anymore. And you can answer, it feels weird when you don't answer and I don't want to feel weird.
Be strong and keep posting.
There are many folk here that will support you in finding and feeling better about your Self; that's the most important thing really as you could take that low self esteem baggage to the next R whether its with your wife or an Other.
You have time on your side.
Tumbling
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
