I see my W a couple times a week and she almost seems like a stranger. The women that gave birth to our children, the women I’ve been with for the last 15 years.
I know what you mean, same with my W. But the whole concept of DB is we're not going back to the old marriage with the old W and old us, we're working on fostering a new R with a changed W and changed us. Love is a choice and your W can choose to love you again. Keep that hope alive in your heart.
Originally Posted By: roughenough
Since the separation the only thing that is discussed is the kids or finances. Part of me really feels I should be more proactive with the “conversation starters”. W’s definitely not very good at them, even though I know she’s open to talking.
Did you communicate effectively with your wife before your sitch or is this "more of the same" behavior for you? I know in my case I discouraged my W from talking about work, etc. I now encourage her by asking her detailed questions. This is a 180 for me. I get her to discuss her feelings, then I empathize with those feelings. I got to know the names of key people she associates with at work and outside of work and ask her specifically about them. I follow up on stories she's told me in days before. Listen intently, give her your undivided attention. If you don't want to hear about her drunken outings then change the subject if she brings them up, but remember that the key is you need to be her best friend for now and you should communicate with her like a best friend would.
