Rachael - let's step back a little bit and figure out, what is your GOAL and what is your PLAN?
Standing can be a very useful technique, especially if you are using the time to show your H a new, improved you, or if you truly believe this is just a temporary MLC aberration that you have to ride out.
BUT - just being a doormat while your H goes back to having an affair because he thinks he can get away with it, or not having any healthy boundaries around his drinking problem, may not be at all the right approach.
Sometimes the MCLer cannot pull it together until they actually have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
One approach would be to just be honest with him - "H, I am feeling very uncomfortable right now, because I believe you are back in your affair and that this trip you are planning is actually a trip away with OW".
