IH Separation-continuing to grow as we grow apart

[breakdownbill]

Hi Bond


"if your GOAL is to have your W go out with you for coffee, one on one, what are you going to do to achieve it?"

This is one one of my goals, but at the moment it is at odds with me trying not to be my w's back up. I mentioned that when I was having IC that it was a big deal for me that my W would need to ask me, so I'd know she wanted to be there.

Maybe I need to set something a little smaller as a goal, need to think about that one.

As far as a boundary for not being part of my W's life whilst she is in contact w/ OM, I'm trying to understand what that means in my sitch, still living with my W and my 2 kids.

I've stayed firm about no physical contact, but we still talk about the children and our day and general talking. It's hard for me to be clear as to how I can enforce boundaries concerning with the OM.

Saying I will not be part of my W's life, when I can't really avoid living it in my sitch confuses me as to what else I could be doing.

I do want to try and give M another shot, but the longer this goes on the harder it is getting to maintain this desire to work things out.

I am happy with how things are going in other parts of my life, my next personal goal is to get better at staying in contact with my friends and family, making more of an effort.

I know this is stuff I need to work out for myself, it just makes it easier hearing what other people would and have done in similar sitches.

Bill