Tomorrow is a New Day

[hopefulinga]

Somewhat of a minor set back, but I held my tounge and I hope it blows over quickly.

H waas 30 minutes late for dinner last night. D16 and I went ahead and ate. While H was eating, I told him that I was cooking for 730 but if I needed to adjust for him to let me know. He said, no that was fine, he was on the phone and doing some other things.

He started to tell me about the phone call, which upset him. It involves some other people that caused us some problems over a year ago. I listened to him and then tried to support him and told him that he didn't know what converstaions were taking place when he was not around that caused some of the problems.

He didn't listen to all of what I was saying and pulled a few pieces out and ran with it. I did not let my voice raise and calmly told him that what he was repeating was not what I meant and that he wasn't letting me finish. He started to get ridiculous and I told him again that I was trying to back him up and that I did not mean how he was taking what I said. One of our reptitive issues is him telling me how I feel and what I am saying.

I remained calm and then he started to say some very hurtful and really stupid things. I calmly told him that I really wished that he wouldn't say things like that and that it was uncalled for. I again told him that I was supporting him and that I was sorry that he took my statements for other than I intended them.

At that point, a wine glass fell out of his hands and broke. He was in barefeet, so I told him to leave the room and I would clean it up.

After that we seemed to be able to talk ok. We talked about riding the motorcycle and I asked him if he would take me again because I had fun. He said he would. He is going away in October over night and I asked him if I could go. He told me no because I wasn't used to riding that far and it would be just over night, no big deal.

I did have some of my thoughts of nasty spiteful comments go through my brain during all of this, but I kept them to myself. I tired to used a calm, soft voice. I am pretty sure that I did not raise my voice and I did not let his hurtful comments escalate me.