Hello HH I'm just off to work but I wanted to say that I saw your question about techniques for dealing with the abandonment trigger.
I have found that if I can watch my thoughts about the meaning we give to their silence then the bad feelings can be kept in check. It's really important to catch the thoughts as they start for me otherwise I spiral into feeling really crap.
So one way that has worked is to take the thought e.g "he hasn't called so he doesn't care about me" and ask - Do I know that thought to be 100% true? and find evidence of the opposite to prove that I do not know this to be the truth (he does care about me because he did xxx this morning).
Choosing your thoughts around something is a very powerful thing. I read the Power of Now earlier this year and Eckhart Tolle proves we are not the Thinker by asking the reader to sit and wait for a thought. Sure enough one eventually appears and you realise your thoughts are NOT you. They are just thoughts that come into your head and we can choose to take notice of them or not.
That said, it's really hard when we start off down the sad feeling road and gather evidence that supports the bad thought instead.
I will try and find your thread later and see how I would feel in your situation and be more specific about what you might try re the triggering thoughts. But for now find the positive evidence (no matter how tiny) that she does care about you.
Tumbling
ME41 H39 T12 M9 Ilybinilwy 10/2010 H moves out 11/2010 H moves in 09/2011 out 11/2011 Try to fix it alone, give up 07/2012 Tumbling to file 02/01/2013 :-) "Strong on the inside, soft on the outside"
