I sat in my car in the garage and tried to digest sandi's post and somehow got me to get a hold of myself. I had a reflection on how I've been handling on to things all day and somehow I felt better.
I went inside and W didn't greet me. I was hurt but I didn't make a big deal. I just reminded myself of one of the 180 I'm doing during the last month which is to make a positive environment between myself and W.
She cooked dinner and yes the avoiding contact is still there but I wanted to be cordial and said hi W. She responded and not only that, she also told me about her day was and, how busy she was all day. She also asked my day and I told her not bad.
I proceeded and played with s3 in the backyard, d17 was upbeat and also hanged out. W also followed, and had interactions with us. I asked If she had check s12 homework and if not if she could please check it.
Later on I went to check on s12, and had a little talked with him and gave him a playful hug. We had dinner and told my wife the dinner was good and thanked her. She had somewhat of a surprise look on her face but I didn't ask why we just continued to watch tv.
I didn't mention the trial separation, I just want to keep the positive feelings for the night. I'm bunking w s12 tonight and tomorrow and I get MB on wed and thurs.
Im a little worried that the communication with W is somewhat of a pursuit? I didn't think it was but maybe I have missed anything? Any thoughts?
I will bury OM and EA sitch for now...I just hope I can keep it burried for a while and just concentrate on working on me.
I just wish I can get enough sleep so that I can run in the park in the morning before work.
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
