First of all, what are your goals? The short term ones.
For example, if your GOAL is to have your W go out with you for coffee, one on one, what are you going to do to achieve it?
Eventually you can make your goal for her to wear her rings.
In terms of boundaries, what are the things that you can't tolerate? State them. Then you don't encourage that behavior. Say you won't XXXX if your W continues to go out with OM. Like if you're paying for the class, tell her you won't be doing it any longer with your family's money. She can do whatever she wants, but you are not going to let it be a part of your life.
Things like that are enforcable boundaries. You don't need to threaten D.
Absolutely agree with Bond.
Boundaries are things that YOU can control. Example, "I won't be a part of your life as long as you are dancing in that class and/or having any contact with OM."
THAT is a boundary that you can put in place and YOU can enforce.
"I want my W to put her rings back on" ... that is a goal for you, but only your W can make that choice.
See the difference?
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce