Divorced #5. And I think Im getting it..

[Mrs D]

"Im never letting him go Bond if I get that chance. How more can I show I CAN be trusted?"

BY LETTING HIM GO! and letting him make the decision to come back to you.

Right now what you're doing is selfish and isn't much different than when you were cheating on him. And that is the flat out truth. Now it's in his hands. If you have faith it will work out, but you have to let him come to you. Not the other way around.

Once your feelings of euphoria wear off you could very well leave him again. He has to learn he can trust you. Give him the gift of time and not just because YOU want something. This is his time. Not yours.

You are right Bond. I know this. I havent spoke to him at all today. No texts. No phone calls. I just get caught up thinking about him, about us - and it all goes downhill. I really do think we will be back together, and I really know I need to give him his space. Its just hard. I get in that space where its late, and I have no one to talk to. Or C is with him. Or whatever. And I cave. Everytime. Yesterday, I was strong. I didnt speak to him other than about C. Today I was strong all day with no urges. I know Im only hurting me and our chances. So why cant I stop???? Im not making excuses. Im weak when it comes to him.