Thanks for the kind words Sam, I too hope this separation helps W to sort through her thoughts and hopefully decide to reconcile at some point. Based on the many success stories I've read here it sounds like the absolute minimum time for a turnaround once separation takes place is 3 months, and more often it's in the 6-8 month range before there's a change of heart. It's going to test my patience for sure.
The patience is the hard part for me and I am fortunate that things are where they are right now with me and my wife. We have a long way to go to get to where we need to be. I think all of us on here would love to wave a magic wand or look in to a crystal ball. The uncertainty is so hard especially when you want something so bad. Hang in there.
Quote:
And your wife will notice your improving physique even if she doesn't say anything. Win-win :-)
LOL - Well I am back to 170 which is ideal. My appetite is back but I am more active. One of my goals is to exercise more.
Quote:
Well said, wise words! You're going to have the negative thoughts, that's completely normal. The trick is to keep them to yourself and show your W only a positive, glowing, happy you.
My negativity is the biggest thing I have had to change. I have my own list of changes and it really revolves around getting rid of those negative thoughts and being positive. I have started doing some short meditation exercises too and trying to live in the present instead of always working towards the future. Has made a big difference. If you take away the possibility of our separation I am in a better place mentally then I think I have ever been. This has been a real eye opener and I am now looking at my son who can be really negative (he is 7). Really need to work with him on that and will once I have a better grasp of where my marriage is going.
Quote:
Congrats, and yes, you are lucky and I'm jealous :-) You're getting the chance that most of us don't, most walk-away wives just say they're done and they don't want to talk about it. You're on the right track, just keep working on your 180's, make them permanent changes to you, give your wife space and time to absorb your 180's and fill your heart with as much hope as it'll hold. Good luck!
I think it is a bit of luck. The timing was right for me as after reading a lot I think I was coming out of my own little MLC. Also if a few things have been different or gone a different way it would have been harder to be where we are today. However it is mostly a testament to my wife. This last week or so has been really good. Still very little physical contact but she appears to be out of her depression and has been great to be around and is even opening up a bit about some things. Now that I am focusing on the positives and I am really seeing what a great and amazing person she is I am more in love with her then ever. Still hard to believe how I almost screwed this up. Not out of the woods yet though and as you said need to make these 180's permanent and hope she decides to stay.
Thanks again for your kind words and support. Posted on your thread to regarding MC.
