What happened to your boundries? I think this was a HUGE mistake on your part. You are getting your hopes up. What happens to you if he closes up and distants himself from you? At the same time, you have to remember YOU are the ex wife and he has a gf. You need to respect that.
2x4 time is over. We all backslid during DBing. It's time to redecicate yourself to the process. Respect yourself...create some boundries.
Bad mistake. You're letting your addiction of him get to you. You're not allowing him to make a decision, you're forcing it upon him.
That's not fair to his GF.
"If he was 100% sure he was into this girl, I would have never been to his place overnight Friday."
You don't know if he was 100% into this girl. You forced the issue by contacting him asking to come over. He DIDN'T call you.
"Never. If he was 100% into her, the things that happened and the conversations that took place never would have happened."
You still haven't shown in any way that you are to be trusted. Even I don't know if you're still going to be with him after 3 months or 3 years once the "feelings" disappear.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Mrs. D, I also miss having my H in bed next to me too, but in the last year have never asked to lie next to him.
For the last month or so, I also haven't contacted him at all, except to confirm that he's bringing by a check to pay his bills. But you know what, he never goes more than a day or two without texting me a good morning or good night. And he often calls after I respond to a text. And he's probably stayed over 1-2 nights a week. But I've made sure that he has been the one to initiate it.
My H is also confused and I'm not sure what he's going to decide to do, but I have to make sure that he doesn't feel that I'm forcing him or pressuring him to decide one way or another. If we do R, I want to make sure that he never has second thoughts and feel that I pressured him into coming back.
We've been separated for over a year and it's very hard, but I have to be patient and let him work on things himself. And he has dated several women, but he has to do what he thinks he has to do to be able to finally decide what he wants.
If you want to contact him, just come post on your thread instead. Give him the space/time he needs to work on himself.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
You really just seem like you are doing whatever you want to do and then making excuses as to why you couldn't DB or why it was OK to go against DB. IMO, you are only hurting yourself in the long run. At least be honest and admit what you're doing. I've been separated for four or five months and I have never contacted my H to sleepover. Never even crossed my mind. Deep down, I think that you are trying to reassure yourself and, at the same time, sabotage his GF. Totally understandable under the circumstances. These sitches just totally suck. But, please take an honest look at what you're doing. It's time for some greater self-awareness. You can do it.
You don't know if he was 100% into this girl. You forced the issue by contacting him asking to come over. He DIDN'T call you. [quote=MrBond]
True he didnt call. But he didnt say no either?
[quote=MrBond]You still haven't shown in any way that you are to be trusted. Even I don't know if you're still going to be with him after 3 months or 3 years once the "feelings" disappear.
Im never letting him go Bond if I get that chance. How more can I show I CAN be trusted?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
You really just seem like you are doing whatever you want to do and then making excuses as to why you couldn't DB or why it was OK to go against DB. IMO, you are only hurting yourself in the long run. At least be honest and admit what you're doing. I've been separated for four or five months and I have never contacted my H to sleepover. Never even crossed my mind. Deep down, I think that you are trying to reassure yourself and, at the same time, sabotage his GF. Totally understandable under the circumstances. These sitches just totally suck. But, please take an honest look at what you're doing. It's time for some greater self-awareness. You can do it.
I know what Im doing is wrong unbidden. I know. But I can stop from missing him. I cant stop but thinking I need to contact him because I didnt for so long. I was the WAS at one time, you know?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
"Im never letting him go Bond if I get that chance. How more can I show I CAN be trusted?"
BY LETTING HIM GO! and letting him make the decision to come back to you.
Right now what you're doing is selfish and isn't much different than when you were cheating on him. And that is the flat out truth. Now it's in his hands. If you have faith it will work out, but you have to let him come to you. Not the other way around.
Once your feelings of euphoria wear off you could very well leave him again. He has to learn he can trust you. Give him the gift of time and not just because YOU want something. This is his time. Not yours.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"Im never letting him go Bond if I get that chance. How more can I show I CAN be trusted?"
BY LETTING HIM GO! and letting him make the decision to come back to you.
Right now what you're doing is selfish and isn't much different than when you were cheating on him. And that is the flat out truth. Now it's in his hands. If you have faith it will work out, but you have to let him come to you. Not the other way around.
Once your feelings of euphoria wear off you could very well leave him again. He has to learn he can trust you. Give him the gift of time and not just because YOU want something. This is his time. Not yours.
You are right Bond. I know this. I havent spoke to him at all today. No texts. No phone calls. I just get caught up thinking about him, about us - and it all goes downhill. I really do think we will be back together, and I really know I need to give him his space. Its just hard. I get in that space where its late, and I have no one to talk to. Or C is with him. Or whatever. And I cave. Everytime. Yesterday, I was strong. I didnt speak to him other than about C. Today I was strong all day with no urges. I know Im only hurting me and our chances. So why cant I stop???? Im not making excuses. Im weak when it comes to him.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
