The chicken dance, huh? That's awesome. When you gonna post the video? lol
Sorry, but that's Frontier league property, LOL
Originally Posted By: LITB
As far as being done...I completely respect and understand it. For me, when I felt I was done, it helped me completely detach.
Oh yeah, absolutely. There's some days where I feel more done than others. It's not an absolute. I have things that will happen that will make me like a D is totally unnecessary and I'll have other days where something will happen that will make me just totally done.
It's been a week since my last update, and I guess that makes me a total slacker.
Well yesterday was technically my 18th wedding anniversary. It was pretty much just another day to me. I did update my signature here today.
I had some interaction with my W last Tuesday. She came to pick up my S. I answered the door when she showed up. She could smell my dinner cooking, it smelled good, and she was surprised. We ended up having a decent conversation for the most part. The topic of the house she's looking at came up. It turns out she put in an offer on this house. She asked if I didn't want her to get this house. I just told her, "Not really, but I'm curious if you've asked your L about it." She just said her L said a certain agreement in place and her loan officer said it had to another type of agreement. She also said my L should have a draft by the end of last week. I haven't seen anything yet, and it's been over 5 weeks since I hired my L. Of course, I could see something before I get done typing this post. We then penciled in some arrangments for me to get my S early on Sunday.
Conversations like the above when they're pleasant in nature, disturb my ambivalence about my situtation and make me start thinking that maybe the D is totally unnecessary. However, I am still putting it in God's hands and going from there.
I didn't see my W again until Sunday. I offered to pick up my S on Sunday. I had made plans with my Mom, so it was quasi on the way. I didn't talk to her. Just briefly smiled and waved.
There's a chance I may see my W tonight. She will be picking up my S tonight.
Still getting the exercise in. Did try a 3 mile run last Tuesday night. 17 mile bike ride on Thursday morning and this morning. 42 mile ride on Saturday morning.
Still GAL'ing of course. Tuesday night I had my Relationships group at my church. Thursday afternoon was the day I chose last week to smuggle in Chipotle to my S's school and hang out with the 6th graders. Thursday night I had Men's group. Friday night, I took myself to concert - really enjoyed it. Saturday morning, the local cycling club's breakfast ride was officially cancelled, but there were about 12 of us who showed up to ride anyway and we successfully avoided the rain. Saturday night I had a reunion party with the folks I went on the WV mission trip with. Sunday I had church and went up with my S to visit with my Mom. Yesterday, I had my S all day. We ended up going to Kings Island for awhile and riding some coasters. It was pretty cool - we met up with a couple more people there via Twitter so we had a motley crew - ages 44, 24, 17, and 11 - riding coasters together.
I don't know the laws in Ohio since I've been in Texas most of my adult life, but the fact she's been dragging her feet on the D and is now actively trying to buy a house raises some red flags with me.
Here in Texas, the moment a divorce is filed, all major assets and money transactions are supposed to be "frozen" until the case is settled. This protects both people from the other. It seems to me like she may know this and she is delaying the filing until she gets what she wants first. You may want to shoot a quick email to your L and see what they think. *IF* this is the case, I am not sure you could do anything since technically the D hasn't been filed, there's not restraining order in effect for the finances.
From the emotional side, the signs and interactions are all still confusing, isn't it? She's cordial and friendly at times, and then she mentions the D paperwork. I feel terrible for you, I know that roller coaster all too well.
If it makes you feel any better, I asked my W recently why she did some of the things she did when she still loved me (unbeknownst to me at the time) and she said it was to hurt me and get my attention whenever I started to become more detached than she wanted. So who knows, in your case she may still want to R but makes these threats to rattle your chain.
It doesn't make sense for someone to do that to someone they love, but I just learned it does happen. LOL
Hang in there buddy, you are doing great!
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
JB, it isn’t over until it’s over even when we think it is and they have said so. My X continues to try and get me to dance to her tune upon the triangle. One cannot dance if one does not hear the tune. Stay the course.
She has to decide to stop dancing. I think you have shown her many times she safely can.
My X purchased a house about a year prior to filing. She worked it out so that it was all her debt and I had no claim upon it. For reasons I have ceased to attempt to fathom she believed it would have equity and wanted to exclude me from making a claim against it as a marital asset. So it is possible to purchase a house outside of the marriage while still being married, at least in Ohio. She did the same with a new car. At least I have some idea how my support payments are being consumed
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
NTX - Once again I appreciate you stopping in and commenting.
Supposedly she has continengies in her offer that we have some sort of an agreement in place. My W is not typically very adept at laying out a strategy to get something she wants. This appears to be an impulsive decision and that's probably the case.
There hasn't been anything filed. If one of us were to file, I've understood from my L that all assets and purchases are frozen anyway.
There's been some recent development I'll post about in a bit here that may be consistent with that she probably doesn't have a clear strategy.
Originally Posted By: NTX_Dad
From the emotional side, the signs and interactions are all still confusing, isn't it? She's cordial and friendly at times, and then she mentions the D paperwork. I feel terrible for you, I know that roller coaster all too well.
Yes, it is confusing. I've often wondered if she never expected me to make the changes in myself that I did. She is seeing and liking many or some of the changes, but then sees the need to bring me down to her level of misery. Just a theory.
on this house. She asked if I didn't want her to get this house. I just told her, "Not really, but I'm curious if you've asked your L about it." She just said her L said a certain agreement in place and her loan officer said it had to another type of agreement. She also said my L should have a draft by the end of last week. I haven't seen anything yet, and it's been over 5 weeks since I hired my L. Of course, I could see something before I get done typing this post. We then penciled in some arrangments for me to get my S early on Sunday.
Saturday morning, the local cycling club's breakfast ride was officially cancelled, but there were about 12 of us who showed up to ride anyway and we successfully avoided the rain. Saturday night I had a reunion party with the folks I went on the WV mission trip with. Sunday I had church and went up with my S to visit with my Mom. Yesterday, I had my S all day. We ended up going to Kings Island for awhile and riding some coasters. It was pretty cool - we met up with a couple more people there via Twitter so we had a motley crew - ages 44, 24, 17, and 11 - riding coasters together.
