Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Maybe you'll meet some hot guy at the race? I bet the ratio of men to women will be favorable
As for the MLC "brain tumor" - funny, I've been thinking about this lately. I was reading an excellent book called Incognito by a neuroscientist. He talks a lot about brain biology and behavior. (Did you know that the Texas tower shooter had a brain tumor? And that he left a suicide note saying his brain should be examined because he felt something was going wrong?).
Who knows to what extent brain pathology or biology plays a role? Do more men have affairs when their wives approach menopause and no longer send out "fertile" pheromone signals? Do brain trauma (my ex had several concussions) or ministrokes or prescription drug side effects or early Alzheimer's or declining testosterone levels affect midlife men in such a way as to trigger MLC behavior? We know, for instance, that in some cases, Parkinson's drugs can trigger compulsive gambling or sex addiction.
Whatever the cause - sociological, biological, or both - they definitely do behave in a lot of weird ways.
Brain tumours - just about all of our friends thought my xh's behaviour was like a brain tumour including a couple of doctor friends who urged me to encourage him to have a brain scan [as if he would have listened!!] Anyway when he had cancer he did have a brain scan, and nope, no tumour. But the behaviour is like brain damage.
I did wonder sometimes though if there isn't something wrong with the brain functioning, because many of them are so self destructive it is like severe mental inllness. And the behaviour change , at least in my xh and in many I read about here, is just so very different. It is as if they are out of their heads.
Who knows. They certainly make some strange life choices.
My oldest son and I are going to take my SUP and his ocean canoe and do a trip around Chinamans Hat tomorrow. I was talking to him about wanting to go and not wanting to go alone. He is a great kid, has been very supportive of me through all this.
I was getting caight up on other threads and 25 wrote something on Tads thread that really got my attention. She said:
OMG! Tad, if this "4 BOYS at home, some not helping/working" AND financial problems
isn't a Red Alarm w/ lights blaring, I don't know what is.
They are learning about BEING STUCK big time, from you.
You are spreading the victimhood around.
OUCH! My S22 had become a bum and I have felt helpless. But I bet he is learning from me. I have been making movement and trying to say the right things to him to get him unstuck. I guess a little less talk and a little more action is what is required!
Because I certainly can't afford to support him forever.
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
My girls love Pinkalicious. Her books are very sweet. All written in a little girls voice.
I read that post by 25 as well and definitely inspired me not to let this crap drag me down. That I need to show up big time for my girls and show them that life will have lots of hurdles and we have to press on.
Keep on being the great mom you already are
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
We did the paddle around Chinamans Hat. 1.5 miles for me. S27 went around twice, so he did an extra mile. It was rough, so I kneeled or sat the whole way. I had a bad night, strained my back hanging the quilts yesterday, I was awake a lot because it hurt.
S27 carried my board for me, and I was hoping it would loosen up with the exercise. It doesn't feel any better, or worse.
I feel confident I will be able to finish the race. That was my objective, finish, not win..... And have some fun!
STBX was asked to watch our granddaughters, as my DIL was at work. He came through with a great plan to take the girls to Dole Plantation and ride the train. I was really happy that he is thinking of things to do with them.
I hope everyone else is having a fun weekend!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Well, according to the internet my D was final on Friday. Nice that OW is keeping track of these things and finds ways to communicate them to me.
When I went online to confirm this, I also found an interesting thing where her now XH had filed for a restraining order against me! I guess my 3 phone calls to him were really bad. The order was not granted.
Then after that he starts to attend my yoga class? Seriously? Good thing I only talked to him once then, at my then H's request, because he was worried the OW was going to kill herself. I'm laughing a little that a 34 year marine who boasted to me he was in the best shape of his life felt the need to do this.
I hope in my quest for a job no one looks at this and ask me to explain. I might cry. Or laugh. Or both!
So anyway, it is done, time to keep movings on.
I'm headed out for another trainging run on my SUP.
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
She is a work of art isn't she......NOT!!!!..I hope and pray you sell the house soon so you can be rid of your ex.....why is her husband still in Hawaii? and she is elsewhere? I think I might of missed that post as to why she is no longer on the islands......take care and, one more thing.... YOU ARE GORGEOUS, don't ever think other wise... those eyes of yours are .....I cant even find the words to describe them........be blessed Irma
I bet OW told her H a pack of lies to scare him into applying for that restraining order. You know how she is - master manipulator all the way.
Well - I know it doesn't FEEL this way, but - congratulations on being divorced! Unwanted, but now you are free to build a life on YOUR terms. And I've got the feeling you have the tools now to make that life a fun and adventurous one.
I, too, hope the house sells soon so that you can get out of there - ugh, can't imagine being stuck living with my ex. Any nibbles? If not, does the realtor have any suggestions?
