Yes...it is the flip quality I even mentioned this to him. I love that he always volunteers to help people. He always wants to be the good guy like Bug says. But he can never set boundaries.
So although he is always there for everyone there's a point where he's not there for me. IE he's off doing odd jobs for his family and our home repairs don't happen for ages. Or he simply didn't have time to spend with us because he'd committed himself to doing things for friends and family.
AND although the wants to be the good guy all the time, he overextends himself and then gets bitter that he's "got to fix my mother's effing car AGAIN" or whatever. I'm a big believer in if you're not doing a favour with a happy heart then don't do it.
I on the other hand often sign up for things and then feel guilty when it comes closer and I cancel because I don't want to do it, can't do it, or had a look at my budget and can't afford it. I'm unable to do something tonight and feel bad because I'm unable to let the guy know. I am also cancelling on a girls weekend in a few weeks time. I really need to stop saying yes, and take 2 days to think before saying yes.
At any rate, you guys are right. He is very adolescent in a lot of ways. Did you read where I told you he would stay up late be really tired for work but not want to have a bedtime and hated being reminded that he went to bed earlier he wouldn't be tired in the morning? He has never learned to wake up to an alarm. I would always have to kick him as his alarm went off and he and his family laugh about it. Yeah, H never wakes up to an alarm...once a next door neighbour was banging on the door because his alarm had been going off for an hour.
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And he was more charming and willing to hide those parts of his personality.
I've been reading Pia Mellody Love Addiction and now I know that I have to take responsibility. I was a love addict and blinded to those things. whew....
