If he was 100% sure he was into this girl, I would have never been to his place overnight Friday. Never. If he was 100% into her, the things that happened and the conversations that took place never would have happened. Especially knowing my feelings. Only when I was leaving did he say he thinks he really likes her. Again I think hes confused, and used that to put the wall back up. Cause he was vulerable for 6 hours prior to that.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Nope. Not yet. Was busy this weekend. Friday night went to dinner with friends and a bonfire. Then was at his place. Yesterday was a wedding. Today, church, laundry, cleaning house and doing homework for therapy. I will rewrite the goals and post them to zigs thread this evening.
Bug. My X is the type of man that takes his relationships serious. Thats why me staying over Friday is huge to me. If he was that into her, he wouldnt have taken the chance shed find out I was there. Does that make sense? Thanks again for your advice.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
What part of "leave him be" are you not getting? Right now I can say that all you're doing is having him feel guilt. He feels like he's cheating on his GF. That's not the type of thinking you want him to have when you're together.
Give him space.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Mrs. D, I think all people make sense all the time-to them. I think what my H is doing makes sense to him and what your H is doing makes sense to him and what you're doing makes sense to you. Does it make sense to everyone? No. Right now you are looking at every little thing he does as a sign of something. It isn't. If and when he ever wants a R with you, he will let you know. You're trying to force an outcome and it will backfire on you.
I don't know more about the staying at his place other than you stayed at his place. That can mean any of a hundred different things. And now he could either feel positive about it(well, that wasn't so bad) or negative (I got trapped into that, I'd better be more careful the next time and stay very far away from her).
When people feel they aren't being listened to, they find other ways to get their point across.
Good luck.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Mrs. D, I think all people make sense all the time-to them. I think what my H is doing makes sense to him and what your H is doing makes sense to him and what you're doing makes sense to you. Does it make sense to everyone? No. Right now you are looking at every little thing he does as a sign of something. It isn't. If and when he ever wants a R with you, he will let you know. You're trying to force an outcome and it will backfire on you.
I don't know more about the staying at his place other than you stayed at his place. That can mean any of a hundred different things. And now he could either feel positive about it(well, that wasn't so bad) or negative (I got trapped into that, I'd better be more careful the next time and stay very far away from her). When people feel they aren't being listened to, they find other ways to get their point across.
Good luck.
So true Bug.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Bond and Carnac, Just thinking about him alot and I called him. I asked if I could come over and just lay down next to him to sleep because I missed being there. I promised that nothing would happen. He said yes. He could have said no. He could have kept the doors locked. He could have asked me to leave once I got there. But he let me in, let me crawl into bed with him. Let me snuggle. Somethings did happen. He brought up that he wasnt sure if he could get back together with me because he still feels I will leave him again in 8 months. There wasnt much talk, but I do remmeber him saying that.
I still think that its another step in the right direction. Baby steps. I am really good today. I havent spoke to him much except for a conversation we had when he dropped C off in the morning. Then again the in the afternoon because C forgot his backpack in his car, and when he dropped it off. Then again that night I sent him a text regarding probably having a set time when we are dropping C off on Sundays. The reason behind that was because he brought him yesterday morning right before I left for church. What if I hadnt have been home when he dropped him.
Thing is - this person is not permanent. Im working on myself still. Yes, I screwed up by contacting him again. But I still think it was a positive step.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Mrs. D, I think all people make sense all the time-to them. I think what my H is doing makes sense to him and what your H is doing makes sense to him and what you're doing makes sense to you. Does it make sense to everyone? No. Right now you are looking at every little thing he does as a sign of something. It isn't. If and when he ever wants a R with you, he will let you know. You're trying to force an outcome and it will backfire on you.
I don't know more about the staying at his place other than you stayed at his place. That can mean any of a hundred different things. And now he could either feel positive about it(well, that wasn't so bad) or negative (I got trapped into that, I'd better be more careful the next time and stay very far away from her).
When people feel they aren't being listened to, they find other ways to get their point across.
Good luck.
Bug - I dont think he felt trapped into letting me come in. He could have said no, dont come over. He said yes. He could have locked the doors. He didnt. He could have asked me to leave - he didnt.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
What happened to your boundries? I think this was a HUGE mistake on your part. You are getting your hopes up. What happens to you if he closes up and distants himself from you? At the same time, you have to remember YOU are the ex wife and he has a gf. You need to respect that.
2x4 time is over. We all backslid during DBing. It's time to redecicate yourself to the process. Respect yourself...create some boundries.
