Divorced #5. And I think Im getting it..

[Mrs D]

Bond and Carnac,
Just thinking about him alot and I called him. I asked if I could come over and just lay down next to him to sleep because I missed being there. I promised that nothing would happen. He said yes. He could have said no. He could have kept the doors locked. He could have asked me to leave once I got there. But he let me in, let me crawl into bed with him. Let me snuggle. Somethings did happen. He brought up that he wasnt sure if he could get back together with me because he still feels I will leave him again in 8 months. There wasnt much talk, but I do remmeber him saying that.

I still think that its another step in the right direction. Baby steps. I am really good today. I havent spoke to him much except for a conversation we had when he dropped C off in the morning. Then again the in the afternoon because C forgot his backpack in his car, and when he dropped it off. Then again that night I sent him a text regarding probably having a set time when we are dropping C off on Sundays. The reason behind that was because he brought him yesterday morning right before I left for church. What if I hadnt have been home when he dropped him.

Thing is - this person is not permanent. Im working on myself still. Yes, I screwed up by contacting him again. But I still think it was a positive step.