Hoping it's not too late

[Just A Guy]

I feel ya on the "lots of work to do" part Mandy! I am right there with you but I am a fighter with the most motivating cause in the world.

It seems to me that you and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum in the same sitch. With the exception being that yours is a little further progressed down the line of separation than mine. I will tell you right now that as the male in my sitch if my W was doing what you are physically with me and saying what you are saying at the same time, I would be loving it but I would also be thinking to myself "is this her reaction to me having an OW or are these sincere feelings".

On the one hand you are fooling around on a regular basis with him "no strings attached".

On the other hand you are telling him where you are and how you want the M to work.

I know it's "so much fun" and I know the sex keeps him coming back but I will tell you that if it was me I would be very reserved if I was him. I can see fooling around and feeling in sync like the days of old, I would then go into the mode of NON sexual intimacy to work on the true underlying issues of the M. The sex can be a great distraction from those especially when the sex is great again. I was there after the first bomb.

My point is have you asked him if he feels like the connection between the two of you is growing again or not? I don't know many men who will turn down sex when presented the opportunity so I would just make sure that you are heading in the right direction with him before getting too caught up in the feel good and not working on the things that brought you here.

Just my .02 but I could be way off base.